Suck your what?
by Sleepingstep
Summary: Aizen’s new scheme to take down Soul Society brings a whole new level of lunacy to Hueco Mundo. Needless to say, Grimmjow ends up finding himself in a tight situation. Heavy swearing and mentions of yaoi.


I hold no rights over Bleach or any of the characters involved.

Warnings: Grimmjow's mouth, slander in reference to Captain Yamamoto, a fellatio obsessed Aizen and mentions of oral.

**Suck your what?!?**

Aizen, Gin, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra and Tosen sat at the pearly white conference table entombed within the bleached walls of Heuco Mundo.

At the head of the table sat Aizen Sosuke. With his hands set firmly before him and a slight smile tugging at his lips the man had a wily air of cunning about him, promising trouble for whoever was unfortunate enough to suffer his schemes. "Gentlemen," he began, voice echoing around the minimalist room. "Are we sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin..."

And promptly stopped speaking.

Grimmjow, leaning back in his own chair (it was _that_ fucking uncomfortable, marble chairs were just _silly_)_, _had to restrain the urge to sigh when he recognised yet another of his leader's dramatic pauses. They got irritating after the zillionth fucking suspenseful silence, and _for once _it would be nice if someone told Aizen to get the hell on with it.

"Of late I have concocted a plan so ingenious in its conception that at its accomplishment Soul Society shall surely fall into our hands," Aizen finally continued, oblivious to Grimmjow's annoyance. "I have called you all here today to tell you of this plot."

As Aizen had been speaking the assorted Espada and ex Soul Reapers (minus the cantankerous Grimmjow) had eagerly leaned forward in their seats, as if starved for their leader's next words.

"And what plot would that be, Aizen-sama?" Surprisingly enough the stoic Ulquiorra was the first to succumb to curiosity. Grimmjow found himself rolling his eyes at the dull monotone of the forth Espada's voice. That guy really was _such_ a kiss ass.

"My plan is," Aizen eventually continued after what seemed to be an ice age, only to pause again for effect. Where the majority were almost biting their nails in suspense Grimmjow was gritting his teeth in frustration. "To get Captain Yamamoto to suck my cock! In front of all ten of the court captains!" he finished in a rush, looking around as if waiting for applause.

The room was silent for a moment after the bomb shell.

After a few more soundless seconds dribbled past, Grimmjow could restrain himself no longer.

"What the fuck?!?" the Sexta-Espada exploded, now sitting bolt upright in his chair. "Are you fucking _insane?!?_ What kind of shitty plan is _that?!?"_

"Quite on the contrary," Gin smoothly interjected, cutting off Grimmjow's horrified splutters. "Ah' think tha' Aizen-sama is onto somethin'. It'd be the ultimate blow ta Soul Society b'fore the upcoming war...ingenious..."

Grimmjow stared at the ever smiling man as if he had suggested that Yammy was even remotely attractive. "Ingenious?!?" he repeated in disbelief. "Are you fucking _high!?! _That guy's wrinkles have wrinkles! And a Santa-Claus beard down to his crotch! Getting _that _to suck Aizen's-" Grimmjow found he couldn't bring himself to utter the word. "Well, it is _not _a great idea!"

In the silence that followed the Sexta-Espada's outburst Grimmjow could almost feel the other's critical stares on him.

"Are you questioning my authority, Grimmjow?" Aizen coolly questioned, his spiritual pressure pulsing ominously as he gazed at the bedraggled blue haired Espada. "You _know _how I don't like people questioning my authority..."

Despite being a stickler for any possibly death-match fight, Grimmjow recognised suicide when he saw it.

Deciding to retreat for the moment, the panther like Espada decided on a more tactful line of action. "No. No!" he spluttered, waving his arms desperately before him. "I just don't think that getting some old guy to suck you off is the best idea to take down Soul Society, that's all!"

Aizen's icy stare could have frozen oceans. "And why not?" he questioned the mortified teal haired Espada. "It would be the perfect show of dominance over Soul Society's head. Needless to say it would crush their morale..."

Where Grimmjow was beginning to question Aizen's sanity at this statement, the others (minus Tosen who sat impassive in his chair) appeared awed by their leader's words. Ulquiorra's seemingly permanent emotionless facade had been shattered, him compulsively nodding and whispering "Genius, genius!" under his breath. Gin was smiling so widely that the top of his head seemed dangerously close to falling off...

Noticing Tosen's comparably sane appearance, Grimmjow decided on having one last desperate attempt at dispelling this nightmare.

"Tosen. Tosen!" he almost shouted, rounding on the as of yet silent man. "You're with me in this, right? You think it's a bad idea too, yeah?"

Following the sound of Grimmjow's nearly hysterical voice, Tosen turned his sightless eyes towards the Sexta Espada. "I couldn't disagree more, Grimmjow," the man scolded in his smooth voice. "I feel this is the perfect attack on Soul Society conveniently minus any bloodshed. Displaying the act to the court captains would also be a brilliant strike against them."

As Tosen had been speaking Grimmjow's expression had warped from one not only of horror to an odd cocktail of repulsed dismay with a heavy dose of disillusionment.

"That's it..," the Sexta Espada murmured, pressing back in his chair as if to escape these obvious psychopaths. "You're all mad...you're all fucking mad!"

Gin, his ever present smile still in place, frowned slightly at Grimmjow's comment. "Y'know," the fox-faced man said. "I don't think tha's very r'spectful to Aizen-sama over here."

The Sexta Espada flinched.

"I agree," Ulquiorra chipped in having now recovered himself. "He certainly isn't submitting to our leader's dominance."

"Well," said Aizen, eyeing Grimmjow and smiling like a cat who had just had all the cream and was currently stalking a tasty fish. "We all know how to fix _that, _don't we? _Come here Grimmjow._ Let's put that mouth of yours to some other use than swearing."

Noticing how all the rooms occupants (minus the predatory Aizen) were carefully avoiding his gaze, Grimmjow jumped from his chair as if burned and began to back from the room. _This couldn't be happening...there was __**no way**__ that... _The sight of Aizen also rising from his chair in order to pursue Grimmjow, however, confirmed the unthinkable.

Fleeing from the room with a cry of "Fuck no!! Not in a million years!!" Grimmjow was swiftly followed by a very happy looking Aizen. "Come here Grimmy!"

And as the unfortunate Grimmjow was chased through the bowels of Hueco Mundo by a dominance obsessed Aizen, somewhere in Soul Society Captain Yamamoto sneezed.

xXx

My first Bleach fic! If I got any of the details wrong please correct me :D. I've just spent what seems to be a lifetime getting through God-knows how many hundred chapters of the manga and this idea was to irresistible to ignore.

Please review!


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